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By tokyobutterfly, Apr 1 2017 01:14PM

Dear Kings and Princes ,


I recently stumbled upon an interesting article in Forbes magazine on toxic personality types. I'm fortunate enough not to meet too many of these character types but thought you might enjoy a good read and perhaps take inventory of the people you are surrounded by in order to better insulate yourself from unnecessary stress and drama.

I would love to hear your thoughts so please feel free to mail me or post a comment.


XOXO

Misa


§


Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact they have on those around them, while others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people's buttons.

As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy--and they take a lot of each. Toxic people create unnecessary complexity, strife, and, worst of all, stress.

"People inspire you or they drain you--pick them wisely." --Hans F. Hansen

 

Recent research from Friedrich Schiller University in Germany shows just how serious the problem can be. They found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions--the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people--caused subjects' brains to have a massive stress response. Whether it's negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs.

Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus, an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to brain cells, and months of stress can permanently destroy them. Toxic people don't just make you miserable--they're really hard on your brain.

The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we've found that 90 percent of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to identify toxic people and keep them at bay.

It's often said that you're the product of the five people you spend the most time with. If you allow even one of those five people to be toxic, you'll soon find out how capable he or she is of holding you back.

But you can't hope to distance yourself from toxic people until you first know who they are. The trick is to separate people who are annoying or simply difficult from those who are truly toxic. What follows are 10 types of toxic drainers that you should stay away from at all costs so that you don't become one yourself.


1. The Gossip

"Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people." --Eleanor Roosevelt

Gossipers derive pleasure from other people's misfortunes. It might be fun to peer into somebody else's personal or professional faux pas at first, but over time it gets tiring, makes you feel gross, and hurts other people. There are too many positives out there and too much to learn from interesting people to waste your time talking about the misfortunes of others.


2. The Temperamental

Some people have absolutely no control over their emotions. They will lash out at you and project their feelings onto you, all the while thinking that you're the one causing their malaise. Temperamental people are tough to dump from your life because their lack of control over their emotions makes you feel bad for them. When push comes to shove, though, temperamental people will use you as their emotional toilet and should be avoided at all costs.


3. The Victim

Victims are tough to identify because you initially empathize with their problems. But as time passes, you begin to realize that their "time of need" is all the time. Victims actively push away any personal responsibility by making every speed bump they encounter into an uncrossable mountain. They don't see tough times as opportunities to learn and grow; instead, they see them as an out. There's an old saying: "Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional." It perfectly captures the toxicity of the victim, who chooses to suffer every time.


4. The Self-Absorbed

Self-absorbed people bring you down through the impassionate distance they maintain from other people. You can usually tell when you're hanging around self-absorbed people because you start to feel completely alone. This happens because, as far as they're concerned, there's no point in having a real connection between them and anyone else. You're merely a tool used to build their self-esteem.


5. The Envious

To envious people, the grass is always greener somewhere else. Even when something great happens to envious people, they don't derive any satisfaction from it. This is because they measure their fortune against the world's when they should be deriving their satisfaction from within. And let's face it, there's always someone out there who's doing better, if you look hard enough. Spending too much time around envious people is dangerous because they teach you to trivialize your own accomplishments.


6. The Manipulator

Manipulators suck time and energy out of your life under the façade of friendship. They can be tricky to deal with because they treat you like a friend. They know what you like, what makes you happy, and what you think is funny, but the difference is that they use this information as part of a hidden agenda. Manipulators always want something from you, and if you look back on your relationships with them, it's all take, take, take, with little or no giving. They'll do anything to win you over, just so they can work you over.


7. The Dementor

In J. K. Rowling's "Harry Potter" series, Dementors are evil creatures that suck people's souls out of their bodies, leaving them as mere shells of humans. Whenever a Dementor enters the room, it goes dark, people get cold, and they begin to recall their worst memories. Rowling said that she developed the concept for Dementors based on highly negative people--the kind of people who have the ability to walk into a room and instantly suck the life out of it.

Dementors suck the life out of the room by imposing their negativity and pessimism upon everyone they encounter. Their viewpoints are always glass-half-empty, and they can inject fear and concern into even the most benign situations. A Notre Dame University study found that students assigned to roommates who thought negatively were far more likely to develop negative thinking and even depression themselves.


8. The Twisted

There are certain toxic people who have bad intentions, deriving deep satisfaction from the pain and misery of others. They are either out to hurt you, to make you feel bad, or to get something from you; otherwise, they have no interest in you. The only good thing about this type is that you can spot their intentions quickly, which makes it that much easier to get them out of your life fast.


9. The Judgmental

Judgmental people are quick to tell you exactly what is and isn't cool. They have a way of taking the thing you're most passionate about and making you feel terrible for caring about it. Instead of appreciating and learning from people who are different from them, judgmental people look down on others. Judgmental people stifle your desire to be a passionate, expressive person, so you're best off cutting them out and being yourself. 


10. The Arrogant

Arrogant people are a waste of your time because they see everything you do as a personal challenge. Arrogance is false confidence, and it always masks major insecurities. A University of Akron study found that arrogance is correlated with a slew of problems in the workplace. Arrogant people tend to be lower performers, more disagreeable, and have more cognitive problems than the average person.


How to Protect Yourself Once You Spot 'Em

Toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it--their behavior truly goes against reason, so why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix?

The more irrational and off base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from his or her traps. Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Distance yourself from them emotionally, and approach your interactions with them like they're a science project (or you're their shrink, if you prefer that analogy). You don't need to respond to the emotional chaos--only the facts.

Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can't stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don't recognize when it's happening. Sometimes you'll find yourself in situations where you'll need to regroup and choose the best way forward. This is fine, and you shouldn't be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so.

Most people feel as though, because they work or live with someone, they have no way to control the chaos. This couldn't be further from the truth. Once you've identified a toxic person, you'll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when and where you don't. You can establish boundaries, but you'll have to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you're bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. If you set boundaries and decide when and where you'll engage a difficult person, you can control much of the chaos. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when such people try to cross them, which they will.

By tokyobutterfly, Mar 18 2017 12:13PM

Pumps Up Lace Down


I hope all you dashing gents are making very firm plans to visit us here in Tokyo, Japan. As you may know spring is just around the corner and one of my favorite traditions, cherry blossom season comes hand in hand.

Cherry blossom viewing is synonymous with intimacy. This is one of the rare times in Japan you may witness very open displays of affection and in many cases intimacy.

As the drinking of sake is a must during blossom viewing and with copious amounts being consumed by both sexes inhibitions are quickly forgotten or perhaps set aside. Because what happens behind a full bloom of cherry blossoms stays behind a full bloom of cherry blossoms.


Touring Season


I wish to thank the many of you for your kind invitations to visit you in your home country. I will do my best to visit you in the very near future.

I will be in Hong Kong March.I am planning to be in Paris and London for a week in April. I have not set my schedule yet as I would like to know if any of you would like to rendezvous while I am visiting. Please let me know and I will co-ordinate my schedule. I will probably visit Singapore and the US in July so if you have an itch:) I am always open to invites so please let me know if you want some company during the coming months.



Up Close and Personal –The Naked Truth


Exclusive Interviews with Five Elite Five-Stars Japanese Escorts !


§

Misa Sato



‡“Which is the first body part your eyes would wander to if you were to ever see me naked?”

- I think even if you are naked I will check the twinkle of anticipation in your eyes of seeming me naked.

‡“Have you ever decided to kiss or make out with a guy just because you were horny?”

-Yes if the chemistry is right I have no inhibitions. I can be a little naughty.

‡“What is the naughtiest moment in your school days that you can remember?”

- I attended an all girl’s school and we always flirted teased the timid young teachers at our school. When I was a high school student, it was the fashion to wear our school skirts super short with loose socks. You can imagine what those teachers saw as they walked up the stairs behind us. We were very mischievous girls!

‡“If I ask you to ask me to do something naughty what would you prefer the most from me?”

- I want you to ask me to meet you at a bar wearing only my thong and stockings under my coat.

‡“Have you ever had a dream about being a lesbian?”

- I don’t need to dream about it as I am quite bisexual and have a lot of fun with my girls.

‡“What do you prefer; thongs or panties?”

- Beautiful thongs but honestly I enjoy wearing nothing at all.

‡“While you are kissing, what types of other things you prefer to be done simultaneously?”

- I love having my clitoris lightly touched while having my nipples caressed and kissing at the same time.

‡“Where you do like being touched the most?”

- My nipples are super sensitive and I love having cunnilingus done to me at the same time. My favorite number is 69.

‡ “What is your wildest sexual thing that you want to indulge in at least once in your lifetime?”

- Deffinitely having sex on the private beach. To be honest I have done that but it was so much fun that I want to do it again.

‡ “Have you ever had an unexpected orgasm?”

- Yes by my girl friend’s finger. We were just playing around and she actually made me cum. She’s totally straight as well.

‡“What’s your favorite thing to do with a guy?”

- I love shower sex and steamy baths together.

‡“What are you wearing right now?”

- Nothing. I am 100 percent au natural.

‡“If we only had twenty-four hours together, what do you think we’d do?”

- Choose the most luxurious spa or hotel and indulge in the best couples massage then make mad passionate love together.

‡“Are you a trouble maker?”

- Depends on what kind of trouble, I guess we should never ride an elevator together you may never know where my hands may go. That goes for a taxi too.

‡“What tricks do you use to turn a guy on?”

- Feather touch with my fine nails on your balls while giving head.


See the other Interviews on my lovely friend's blog

-Rina's interview

-Arisa's interview

-Mio's interview

-Miki's interview

By tokyobutterfly, Jan 29 2017 03:39PM



A blog by Dr Brooke Magnanti inspired TV ’s Secret Diary Of A Call Girl, starring Billie Piper.

She is most definitely not a prostitute.

Just in case you’re still in any doubt she will point you to the small print on her website where she states that all “donations” are for her time, not for sex.

Yet take a closer look and that’s exactly what the 25-year-old Londoner is selling.

No strings attached, discreet, expensive sex... anywhere in the world.

Serena is highly educated (with a master’s degree), vivacious and stunning.

Her wardrobe is immaculate and she is equally comfortable holding court at a cocktail party or entertaining in the bedroom.

She is a modern-day courtesan, part of an elite band of escort girls willing to jet off at a moment’s notice to become the playthings of the planet’s wealthiest and most influential men.


These women are in such demand that they can return home from a day’s work with £10,000 bulging in their Gucci handbags.

The seamy world of the high-class call girl is being exposed in the scandal engulfing Silvio Berlusconi.

It is claimed that a fixer arranged, at huge expense, for women to be flown in from London for debauched parties attended by the Italian prime minister.

The women were paid £4,000 a time, given plane tickets, accommodated in five-star hotels and showered with gifts in exchange for spending the night with the politician.

It’s alleged that £80,000 was spent in nine months procuring girls for parties in Rome, Milan and Sardinia.

The term courtesan is little more than a marketing description used to add a few noughts to a seedy transaction.

They are expensive prostitutes. Yet there is a distinction between their encounters and the grubby couplings more often associated with the world’s oldest profession.

As one explains: “The modern courtesan is a lady who is educated, witty, sophisticated, well-travelled and articulate. She’s elegant, fun and of course beautiful. She’s the perfect companion for a gentleman of distinction and discernment. She is the antithesis of what you expect a ‘lady of the night’ to look like.

"She is very classy, ultra- discreet and chooses her suitors carefully. The men who are naturally attracted to courtesans are looking for an experience, certainly not quick gratification. They seek an encounter which includes intelligent conversation with a skilled, confident woman. There’s nothing tacky about me.”

It’s a description that Serena, who declines to reveal what she earns, recognizes. “I chose this path out of desire, not necessity,” she insists.

“It’s a job well suited to my personality and talents. There has to be chemistry, built up over long drinks or dinner dates. Because I am so exclusive I only have to arrange a few engagements each month. Quality encounters rather than quantity are my preference. I’m well-educated so I can converse on most topics, from science to business, and I can blend into any social function without causing embarrassment.”

The rarefied environments in which these women operate give the high-class escort industry an air of respect- ability. Looks are important but there’s more emphasis on the escort’s personality and interests than on her vital statistics.


At the very top end of the market the girl might have just one fabulously rich benefactor who doesn’t want the hassle of a mistress but is willing to pay for exclusivity.

The leading escorts often have regular jobs, not because they need them but for the variety, and are fluent in several languages. Unlike regular prostitutes they will kiss because for the money involved clients demand the full girlfriend experience.

On their websites, some review the hotels they have used and include testimonials from clients. They’ll also spout poetry and share their thoughts on everything from the euro crisis and state of the coalition to fine wines and the latest restaurant openings.


To make the problem of choosing gifts easier for the clients some girls will list their favourite brands of clothing and perfume.

Sophie, an escort working in Paris and St Petersburg who speaks five languages, says she prefers Chanel but will be equally thrilled to receive a spa voucher or champagne.

The trend for sharing their outlandish lives was started by Dr Brooke Magnanti, an academic who began writing an anonymous blog about her double life as an upmarket prostitute, using the pen name Belle du Jour.

She was the inspiration for the TV programme Secret Diary Of A Call Girl, starring Billie Piper, but the £300 an hour she claimed to have earned working in London pales beside the amounts commanded by other escorts.

“Some sex workers have terrible experiences but I didn’t,” says Dr Magnanti, who claimed to have forgotten how many men she had slept with. She’s now in demand as a social commentator has appeared on Newsnight.

Berlusconi is not the first politician to be caught up in a prostitution scandal.

Three years ago former New York governor Eliot Spitzer was exposed after paying £3,000 to a high-class hooker. It was reported that, above the usual favours, the cash was to cover her hotel bill, mini-bar, air and cab fares.

He was alleged to have spent £50,000 on prostitutes while in various political offices. It emerged that “Kristen”, the 22-year- old involved, had answered an ad for girls willing to attend parties hosted by the influential man.

A source involved in the investigation said at the time: “Like all of them she just wanted to hang out with guys who were rich and famous. Nobody knew she was a prostitute. Now it makes sense where her Cartier watch, her Louis Vuitton bathing suit and her trips to St Tropez came from.”

Another trend is for the escorts to organize lucrative tours taking in some of the glitziest events on the social calendar, such as the Monaco Grand Prix. They will organize a handful of appointments in advance and combine work with pleasure.

At the top end cash is still the preferred method of payment but it’s always possible to pay by bank transfer or even credit card. Naturally the client also picks up the tab for first-class travel. Some of the girls routinely carry visas for countries such as India and Russia so that they can fly to a lucrative rendezvous without delay. Others offer secretarial, personal assistant and translation services as some useful extras.

Some escort agencies claim to be able to offer access to supermodels who are between catwalk assignments. It was alleged that disgraced golfer Tiger Woods paid £10,000 a time to meet one former Playboy model when he visited New York. A fixer claimed that Woods would spend as much as £25,000 a weekend for illicit liaisons in cities where he was competing.

There is no shortage of bright, pretty girls willing to become courtesans. After all, there aren’t many jobs providing that level of income, unlimited champagne and international travel. Best of all for those in this secret, multi-million.



History of the Mistresses


The term courtesan, used to describe high-class mistresses, originated in 19th-century France.

These women, renowned for their beauty and sexual wiles as well as their intellect and wit, were at the top of the prostitutional hierarchy. Supported by the nation’s aristocrats they had elegant lifestyles.

In return for their loyalty and discretion they were provided with opulent homes, which they would furnish to their own taste, and lavished with jewels. When a man took on a courtesan she was a status symbol.

In a society where marriage was often an arrangement becoming a “kept woman” was an attractive way of life which also provided independence. No doubt some of them became attached to their wealthy lovers but on the whole if his income disappeared they would move on to a different man.

Every society had its courtesans and in Japan the equivalent was the geisha, a beautiful woman who was expected to entertain her rich benefactor and his business clients, although sex was not always part of the arrangement.

In Italy, long before Silvio Berlusconi came to power the nation’s rulers had their cortigianas who offered sexual favours and companionship in exchange for independence and luxuries.